


Skam DC Season 3 Episode 9: There's No Such Thing As Soulmates

by skamDC (bramgreenfeld)



Series: Skam DC: Season 3 [10]
Category: Original Work, SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Gen, Multi, tw for discussion of suicide (clip 5)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25922731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bramgreenfeld/pseuds/skamDC
Summary: Kai Linwood had expected an average summer: trips to the beach, staying up all night, sleeping in until four, pining after his best friend, and, most importantly, trying as hard as possible to avoid being at home. What he didn’t expect was for the break to be turned upside down before it even started - and to feel more alone than ever before. To make matters worse, he’s gotten wrapped up in the musical that the girlfriend he never wanted is student directing.Kai didn't ask for this to be the summer when everything changed. But who knows - maybe it’s going to be the best thing that ever happened to him.
Relationships: Kai Linwood/Jasper Markowitz
Series: Skam DC: Season 3 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785775
Kudos: 12





	1. SATURDAY 11:20AM: GROUND CONTROL

SATURDAY, AUGUST 15TH, 11:20AM

INT. MARLOW HOUSE, KAI'S BEDROOM

Space Oddity by David Bowie plays over a shot of KAI laying on his side, turned away from the camera. The camera moves upwards and above him, showing that he's looking at his and JASPER'S messages. He refreshes them, not really expecting a response, but still holding onto a tiny piece of hope.

He stares at the phone for a second more and then sits up, picking up his laptop from next to his bed. He opens up Chrome and searches "borderline personality disorder".

The first thing that catches his eye is the box on the side of the google search, defining BPD as "A mental disorder characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships." Beneath this, it lists the symptoms as "emotional instability, feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, impulsivity, self harm/suicidal tendencies, and impaired social relationships".

On the other side of the page, there is a People Also Ask section with a list of other questions. Some of these include "Do people with BPD lie?" "Why do borderlines leave suddenly?" and "Do borderline personalities have empathy?" KAI catches his breath, staring at the screen. He selects a question at random - "Why do borderlines push you away?"

There's a paragraph long description, but one line in particular jumps out at him - "They feel a constant fear of themselves and that their behaviors will cause people to leave. Still, they continue to act in ways which push others, until they eventually do."

WILLA (O.S.)  
Good morning!

KAI looks up, seeing WILLA at the doorway.

KAI  
Hey.

He says it shortly, trying to get her to notice that he isn't interested in talking, but she doesn't quite get it. She comes in to sit next to him on the bed.

KAI  
Why are you so happy this morning?

She shakes her head.

WILLA  
Oh, I'm not. I got no fucking sleep last night, and then I drank a lot of coffee, and I think I might be kind of overcompensating?

KAI  
Why didn't you sleep?

WILLA grimaces.

WILLA  
You're going to laugh at me.

KAI raises his eyebrows.

KAI  
Now I want to know even more.

WILLA  
Um, I was reading this thing on Wattpad...

KAI  
What the fuck? Is it 2015 all of a sudden?

WILLA  
I just looked at it for old times sake and this story was trending...I don't know, it was like a soulmate AU, but it was an original story. And there was this whole commentary about how we don't necessarily fall for the people society, or any kind of determined system really, says we should. It's very gay rights. Anyway, I read the whole thing just to find out that it hasn't been updated in months and it ended on...

She trails off. KAI follows her gaze to where it rests on his laptop.

WILLA  
Why are you googling that?

KAI reads her expression instantly.

KAI  
You know why.

WILLA  
He told you?

KAI  
He told _you_?

WILLA nods.

WILLA  
Yeah. A while ago. Back when he was first diagnosed.

KAI  
Why you?

WILLA shrugs.

WILLA  
I think it was easier for him to talk to me about it than you. But he's told you now, right?

KAI shakes his head.

KAI  
Not exactly.

He leans backwards on the bed, not looking at WILLA.

KAI  
We were out last night, and he just sort of...snapped. And when I went to talk to him Jude intercepted and yelled at me.

WILLA  
Yelled at you?

KAI  
Kind of.

WILLA sighs.

WILLA  
God. Fucking Jude. He has his priorities straight, but...

KAI shakes his head.

KAI  
No. I deserved it.

WILLA frowns.

WILLA  
I bet you didn't.

KAI  
Whatever.

WILLA decides not to push it.

WILLA  
Okay. So...what are you doing now?

KAI shrugs.

KAI  
He won't respond to my messages. So...nothing. That's it.

WILLA is silent for a moment.

WILLA  
He's probably thinking the same thing as you, you know.

KAI  
What?

WILLA  
That you won't take him back.

KAI closes his eyes.

KAI  
It's different.

WILLA  
Sure, it's different. But it's also kind of the same.

KAI  
That makes no sense.

WILLA  
Does anything?

She stands up.

WILLA  
Just...just give him some time, okay? He'll respond soon. I promise.

KAI shakes his head. He turns away from WILLA, the same position he was in at the beginning of the clip.

KAI  
You can't promise that.

WILLA  
Yeah. But I am.

She stands there for a moment more, and then we hear her footsteps as she leaves the room. KAI blinks a few times and then sits up, reaching for his laptop again. Another question pops out at him - "Can a person with BPD really love?" KAI stares on it, but doesn't click it, instead slamming the laptop shut and curling up into a tight ball.


	2. MONDAY 9:35PM: SOMETHING THAT AFFECTS EVERYTHING

MONDAY, AUGUST 17TH, 9:35PM

INT. MARLOW HOUSE, FOYER

KAI enters the house, kicking the door shut with his foot. He glances up to see HOLLY and THEO sitting at the kitchen table, talking quietly. He approaches them.

INT. MARLOW HOUSE, KITCHEN

HOLLY glances up at KAI walks in, THEO following her gaze.

HOLLY  
Hey.

KAI  
Hey. Why are you guys still up?

THEO  
It's only like nine.

KAI  
It feels later.

He sits down in the last remaining chair, resting his head on the table.

KAI  
Fucking hell.

HOLLY  
Tired?

KAI  
I am _so fucking tired_.

HOLLY  
Yeah. Willa says that tech week is no joke.

KAI sits up and shakes his head.

KAI  
Yeah. Of course it had to be this week.

HOLLY  
What's this week?

KAI  
It's just...I'm kind of not in the right headspace for it.

THEO instantly understands what he's referring to.

THEO  
Yeah.

HOLLY  
What do you mean? Like the thing with Jasper?

KAI glances over at her.

KAI  
How do you know about that?

HOLLY swallows hard.

HOLLY  
Um, I didn't...

She glances at THEO for help. THEO shrugs, and she sighs.

HOLLY  
Willa told me about it.

KAI  
Great. Fantastic.

HOLLY  
I'm sorry...

KAI  
No, it's cool. I'm not mad.

THEO  
Has he texted you back yet?

KAI shakes his head.

KAI  
But he hasn't blocked me again. Because that would mean that he would actually have to acknowledge that I exist.

He sighs, putting his head in his hands.

KAI  
I keep reading shit on the internet about BPD.

THEO  
And?

KAI  
And nothing. The more I read, the worse it gets.

THEO shakes his head.

THEO  
But it's different for everyone. A few articles on the internet can't perfectly describe who Jasper is.

KAI nods.

KAI  
I guess. But it's...I don't know. I just can't believe he wouldn't tell me.

HOLLY  
I can. You guys are so close. He wouldn't want to take any chances at ruining that, or even changing it at all.

KAI  
But it wouldn't...

He stops himself - it could change. It would change.

KAI  
I just have no fucking idea what to do. I don't want it to be like this forever. I don't want to lose him like this.

THEO shakes his head.

THEO  
You don't have to lose him. You can't just not talk forever. Someday you'll have to see each other again, and then...

KAI  
That's not what I mean, though. How am I supposed to be in a relationship with him? This is something that affects everything. And it's going to be like that forever. It's not like a cold, where he'll get better in a week. Mental illnesses aren't like that.

THEO shakes his head.

THEO  
They kind of are, though?

KAI  
No?

THEO  
Yes? Look, Jasper wants to get better. He always has, from the minute he was diagnosed.

KAI frowns.

KAI  
Did you already know about it?

THEO hesitates, and then nods.

THEO  
Yeah. Jude told me a while ago. He's also told me that Jasper is seeing a therapist. He's on medication. Mental illnesses have treatments just like any other sickness. Isn't that what your mom is doing right now? Trying to get better?

KAI nods slowly.

KAI  
I didn't really think about it like that.

THEO  
I've kind of had to, so...

KAI glances at him quizzically, but THEO clearly doesn't want to talk about himself - he never does.

HOLLY  
He'll come to you, Kai. I'm sure of it.

KAI  
And in the meantime?

HOLLY  
And in the meantime you'll wait for him. I think that's one of the greatest forms of love, you know. It's like...that's how you know it'll last. If you're both willing to wait until you're ready, and the way you feel about each other never fades, or changes.

THEO laughs a little.

THEO  
What John Green book did you get that from?

HOLLY rolls her eyes, punching his shoulder playfully.

HOLLY  
Shut up. You wouldn't know.

THEO shrugs, suddenly looking more serious. KAI'S phone vibrates and he takes it out, hopeful, but it's only an Instagram notification - someone has liked his most recent photo, a picture that he posted with JASPER last week. He clicks on it, staring at the picture for a little while.


	3. WEDNESDAY 8:21PM: ALONE

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19TH, 8:21PM

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, HALLWAY

KAI is standing "backstage" - or, in the hallway behind the auditorium that serves as their backstage area. The rest of the cast can be heard singing Left Behind on stage, SIMON replacing JORDAN as Melchior.

KAI'S phone vibrates and he looks down, again hoping that it's JASPER. But it isn't - it's his father. His eyes widen as he stares at the phone.

KEIRA  
(whispered)  
Kai!

KAI looks up.

KEIRA  
Put your phone away!

KAI hesitates, and then makes a split-second decision.

KAI  
Can I just take this call real quick? It's important. And I'll go...

He gestures towards the other end of the hall, away from the stage. KEIRA glares at him.

KAI  
Please?

She sighs.

KEIRA  
Fine. Be quick. And make sure to leave your phone in the dressing room tomorrow. And if you have it out during the show I swear to _god_ -

KAI is already taking off down the hall.

KAI  
Thank you!

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, LOBBY

KAI slows down, answering the phone. He can still hear the cast singing in the auditorium, but he's confident that he's far away enough that they won't hear him. He answers the phone.

KAI  
Hello?

There is a brief silence before he gets a response.

KAI'S FATHER  
Hi. It's -

KAI  
I know who it is.

Another awkward silence. KAI considers hanging up, and blocking the number for good measure, but curiosity wins out.

KAI  
What do you want?

KAI'S FATHER  
Are you actually going to talk to me like that?

KAI  
Yeah, actually, I am. You treated me and my mother like shit and then you didn't contact either of us for months. How else am I supposed to talk to you? Like everything is normal? Because it isn't. It's never going to be normal again.

KAI'S FATHER sighs.

KAI'S FATHER  
Look -

A crash is heard from the backstage area, drowning out whatever KAI'S FATHER was saying. KEIRA can be heard yelling at someone. KAI winces.

KAI  
That's not my name.

KAI'S FATHER  
I'm doing the best I can, okay?

KAI laughs bitterly.

KAI  
The best you can? I think that that would involve not abandoning your teenage son and your mentally ill wife.

KAI'S FATHER  
Are you going to let me talk, or are you just going to yell at me the whole time?

KAI  
I'm -

He cuts himself off, taking a deep breath.

KAI  
Fine. Talk.

KAI'S FATHER  
I was wondering if you might want to come live with me in Bethesda.

KAI doesn't even have to think about it.

KAI  
Hell no.

KAI'S FATHER  
At least give it some thought -

KAI  
Where were you a few months ago? When Mom had a breakdown and I had to deal with it by myself? When she got admitted to a mental hospital and lost custody? I've never felt so alone in my life!

KAI'S FATHER  
But I'm here now!

KAI  
That's not enough! It wouldn't have even been enough then! Do you know when Mom started getting really bad? Do you know what caused that? It was when I finally worked up the courage to come out to you guys and you just _left_. You didn't say a word to either of us. You ignored everything Mom was saying. You just drove away and never came back. And I've blamed myself for everything that happened for way too long. It's your fault, it's all your fault. And I'm better off here than I ever would be with you.

KAI'S FATHER  
You're not listening to me.

KAI  
I've heard enough.

KAI'S FATHER  
Kai!

KAI hesitates for a moment, staying on the line. But his father doesn't say anything else - just his name. His real name. KAI swallows hard.

KAI  
Goodbye.

He hangs up, staring at the phone as the tears start to fall.

KAI  
Fuck.

He leans back against the wall and wraps his arms around himself. Now that he's started crying, he can't stop, but this time there's no one here to help him through it - he's completely alone.


	4. THURSDAY 9:32PM: LESS THAN THREE

THURSDAY, AUGUST 20TH, 9:32PM

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, LOBBY

Visions of Gideon continues as we see KAI standing in the same place that he was in the last clip. It's dark outside this time, and he's wearing his street clothes rather than his costume. He's still holding his phone in his hand, though, staring down at the screen.

We see what he's looking at - a Spotify playlist called "i couldn't figure out a way to combine our names". The description says "call me when you feel like it <3". His hands shake for a moment before he manages to click on the share button, sending the playlist to JASPER.

He turns off his phone, dropping his hand to his side. The ball is in JASPER'S court now - all KAI can do is wait.


	5. FRIDAY 9:21PM: ALL SHALL KNOW THE WONDER

FRIDAY, AUGUST 21ST, 9:21PM

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, AUDITORIUM

All That's Known can be heard playing as the camera pans over the audience before focusing on the stage. SIMON stands in the center while SIERRA and KAI stand on either side of him, their hands on his shoulders.

SIMON  
 _They call me_  
 _Through all things_  
 _Night's falling_  
 _But somehow on I go_  
 _You watch me_  
 _Just watch me I'm calling_  
 _From longing_

SIERRA  
 _When the northern wind blows_  
 _The sorrows your heart's known_  
 _I believe_  
 _We're still home_  
 _We're still home_

KAI  
 _Though you know_  
 _There's so much more to find_  
 _Another dream, another love you'll hold_  
 _Still you know_  
 _To trust your own true mind_  
 _On your way you are not alone_

KAI and SIERRA exit on opposite sides of the stage. SIMON can still be heard singing as we focus on KAI'S face. He takes a deep breath, then glances over his shoulder at the audience. HOLLY and NIA can be seen, but no one else he recognizes - neither of the people he was hoping to see.

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, MEN'S DRESSING ROOM

The dressing room is packed with guys trying to get dressed in the shortest amount of time possible. KAI is next to the mirror in the corner, shrugging on his jacket with the patches. His phone, sitting in his jacket pocket, vibrates. He glances at the monitor, checking how much time he has, and takes out his phone. A smile flashes over his face - there's a text from JASPER.

JASPER: "Dear Kai, I'm underwater and thinking about you. I'm never not thinking about you. I've been thinking about you since the day I met you whether I realized it or not. There are a million things I want to say to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for not telling you that I have BPD. I'm sorry for lying to you - and for lying to myself. I wanted to pretend that we could have some kind of fairy-tale ending. I should have known that we're always alone anyway. There's no such thing as soulmates. We were born alone and we'll die alone. There's a parallel universe where things are different - a universe where just one tiny thing has changed, and we made it work. A universe where we're together forever. I'm sorry. I love you. Jasper"

KAI reads the message once, twice, three times. He is about to reply when -

ISAAC  
Okay, we should probably go.

The guys begin to leave the room. KAI puts his phone down with the rest of his things and follows them.

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, AUDITORIUM

KAI, along with SIERRA, is the last to enter. The cast is now dressed in modern clothes, the clothes that they typically wear every day.

CAST  
 _And so I wait_  
 _The swallow brings_  
 _A song of what's to follow_  
 _The glory of the spring_

Close-up on KAI'S face. Suddenly, a flashback - he and JASPER smiling at each other through the fishtank in the hotel lobby.

CAST  
 _The fences sway_  
 _The porches swing_  
 _The clouds begin to thunder_  
 _Crickets wander murmuring_

We see JASPER and KAI curled up together in KAI'S bed.

KAI (V.O)  
They both die at the end, though.

JASPER (V.O.)  
That's the point, though. Their relationship was always doomed. That's what made it so special. All the best love stories are tragic. They always die at the end in some way.

KAI leans over to kiss JASPER. We see the present-day KAI again, his face slowly becoming more serious, less focused on the music and more focused on something else, someone else.

CAST  
 _The earth will wave with corn_  
 _The day so wide, so warm_  
 _And mares will neigh_  
 _With stallions that they mate_  
 _Foals they've borne_

JASPER (V.O.)  
You're either together forever or you crash and burn. And then nothing is the same again.

We see KAI at the beginning of the episode, looking up the symptoms of BPD. "Self harm/suicidal tendencies" jumps out at him.

We snap back to the present. The music has stopped - the only thing we can hear is the cast's voices.

CAST  
 _And all shall know the wonder_  
 _I will sing the song of purple summer_  
 _All shall know the wonder_  
 _I will sing the song of purple summer_  
 _And all shall know the wonder_  
 _Of purple summer_

The song fades into Carry You by Novo Amor. KAI blinks a few times as the dots connect, and alarm fills his features.

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, HALLWAY

KAI runs out into the hallway, slamming into KEIRA by the auditorium doors. The song continues to play in the background.

KAI  
Hey -

KEIRA  
Where are you going? You have to be onstage again in like five seconds!

KAI shakes his head.

KAI  
Keira, I have to go.

KEIRA frowns, shaking her head.

KEIRA  
Um, no? There's curtain call and there's notes and -

KAI  
Keira!

She stops.

KAI  
I can't explain why, but just - just trust me, okay? I know I haven't given you very good reason to do that, but just - please. Please.

She stares at him, seeing the fear in his face, the adrenaline rushing through him. She nods.

KEIRA  
Okay.

KAI  
Thank you. Thank you for everything.

He takes off.

EXT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL

KAI has taken out his phone, looking up a location. He finds it - it's a twenty-five minute walk from here to the aquarium. He doesn’t have to think about it any longer - he just runs.

EXT. DC STREETS

The song grows louder - it's now the only thing we can hear. KAI is still running, not even seeming tired, nothing slowing him down. Occasionally he runs past a streetlamp, lighting up his face, showing his fearful expression.

He remembers.

He remembers the hotel before it all went wrong, talking to the receptionist, kissing in the elevator, lying together in the bed.

He remembers the kitchen, the way he looked at JASPER, the way JASPER looked at him.

He remembers the last time he ran to JASPER like this, lightning flashing as JASPER kisses him.

He remembers their date, holding hands and sitting by the water, feeling like the only people in the world. He remembers falling off of the log - he remembers JASPER catching him.

Everything is going by in a blur, every memory they've shared - staring at each other while they kissed KEIRA and BROOKLYN, watching the fireworks together on the beach, making waffles in the kitchen, shotgunning in the school hallway, JASPER pulling KAI up out of the bathtub at the party. As far back as kissing during the truth or dare game at the beach house, singing around the campfire at the condo in the fall - even moments that the viewers have never seen before, just them together, together for so long that they've both forgotten what it's like to be alone.

EXT. AQUARIUM

KAI finally slows down as he approaches the door. The running has started to catch up to him - he's panting, a hand coming up to grab his ribs where they've started to ache. He doesn't let it stop him, reaching for the door handle.

KAI  
Please, please, please...

The door opens. He lets out a sigh of relief and enters.

INT. AQUARIUM

KAI walks quickly through the fish tanks. Where it once seemed otherworldly, it now seems eerie. He finally spots the double doors and runs to them, yanking them open.

INT. SHARK TUNNEL

We see one final flashback - the moment before they kissed, KAI taking a step closer to JASPER.

We then see the shark tunnel as it appears today - empty, JASPER nowhere to be seen. Somehow it seems darker now, JASPER'S absence like the absence of the sun. KAI catches his breath, staring at the room. He seems close to tears as he takes a step into the tunnel, glancing around. A shark swims overhead, and KAI stares at it.

A creaking sound can be heard, followed by the sound of a door shutting. KAI tears his eyes away from the shark, looking down towards the other end of the tunnel - JASPER is standing there, staring at KAI like he's a ghost.

KAI doesn't run to him. He takes a step closer to him, then another, until they're meeting in the middle. JASPER doesn't seem quite real, so KAI reaches out, touching his face. JASPER leans into the touch, tears clinging to the ends of his eyelashes.

KAI pulls JASPER into a fierce hug. JASPER wraps his arms around his waist and buries his head in his shoulder, reassuring himself that KAI is actually there.

KAI  
You're not alone. You're never alone, okay?

JASPER nods. He's really crying now. KAI'S hand comes up to his head, running a hand through his hair.

KAI  
Do you want to get out of here?

JASPER lets out a shaky breath.

JASPER  
And go where?

KAI  
Home?

JASPER  
Home is wherever you are.

They stay in their current position for a moment longer, neither of them wanting to let go. Finally JASPER pulls out of the hug, but keeps close to KAI, still touching him. They touch their foreheads together briefly, and we see that KAI is crying as well. He kisses JASPER'S forehead.

KAI  
Let's go.

They separate, to some extent - they're still holding hands. They walk towards the doors together. They're briefly silhouetted against the light of the next room before they exit.

CUT TO END CREDITS.


End file.
